I thought walking away was the hardest thing I'd ever do, but walking back feels harder.
As soon as I graduated, I ran away from my hometown. Ran away from my crazy religious parents, ran away from the judgment, and ran away from what I couldn't accept about myself. And all of that wouldn't be so bad... if I hadn't also run away from my best friend.
But now I'm forced by circumstance to come back. And I'm terrified. Because I made a lot of mistakes in leaving, some of the worst mistakes of my life. I don't know if I've grown up enough to face them. I don't know if I can face Amy.
Or, even worse, if she doesn't forgive me... I don't know if I can survive walking away again.
Nobody has ever made me feel as good and as bad as she does.
I've never been as close to anyone as I was to Jessica. But she just left when I was at my most vulnerable. She did worse than that, in fact. There are things I don't know if I can forgive, things I never planned to forgive.
And then she just waltzes back into my life unexpectedly I'm supposed to just forgive her? What if I don't want to forgive her? But that's the problem, I do want to forgive her. I want to have her as my best friend again... and so much more.
But I'm terrified of what is going to happen if I allow myself to love her again.

Drowning PDF

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