When old fart blogger Mormon Silver goes to interview young entrepreneur Bea Plastique, he encounters a woman who is stunning, smart, and scary. The unsophisticated, horny Silver is startled to realize he wants this woman (from behind, mostly) and, despite her mysterious love of ice hockey, finds he is desperate to get close to her (and honk her boobies). Unable to resist Silver’s oral skills, silver chin fur, and argyle socks, Plastique admits she wants him, too—but on her own terms. Stunned yet delighted by Plastique’s kinkiness, Silver hesitates. For all of her success—her multinational assortment of lubricants, her gay assistant, her condo on a high floor (I mean, really high—you’re almost above the clouds, for Christ’s sake)—Plastique is a woman haunted by her past and consumed by the need to have hockey-related sex. When the couple embarks on a bold, twisted physical affair, Mormon discovers Bea Plastique’s secrets (including a naughty uncle) and explores his own icky, sticky desires. Silly, sexy, and deeply disturbing, Fifty Shades of Silver Hair and Socks is a tale that will make you horny, tickle you, and give you some great ideas to try on an unsuspecting lover.

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