PROLOGUE Myintentionwiththisbookistoturnyourworldupsidedown,to wakeyouup,andtoopenyoureyes.Afteryou'vereadit,Isincerely believethatnothingwillseemthesametoyou.Mostofwhatyounow believe you know about women will change. Everything that previ- ouslymadenosensewillsimplyfallintoplace.Youmayverywellsee allyourpastexperiences,yourcurrentsituation,andeverythingthat happensfromthisdayforwardinacompletelynewlight.Issuesthat once concerned you and problems that still concern others will vanish. TheideasthatIwillpresenthavethepotentialtoimprovethequal- ityofyourlifesignificantly,beyondyourwildestexpectations,ifyou allowthemto.Theseideasalsoruntheriskofupsettingyou,socon- sideryourselfwarned.Thebookhasnotbeenwrittentomakeyoufeel good, but to help you become better. Seductionisoneofthemostfascinatingandmisunderstoodtopics in the world, so let me start by laying a solid foundation for under- standinghowthingsreallyare,becauseIdoubtyoualreadyknow.If wewereonthesamepageandyouknewwhatIknow,itisunlikely thatyouwouldbereadingthis.Youwouldhavemuchbetterthingsto do.Isuredo;otherwise,itwouldnothavetakenmeyearstocomplete this book. INTRODUCTION This book is written for a specific audience-namely, heterosexual males who are less romantically or sexually successful with women thantheywanttobe.Maleswhowanttoknowhowtoformmorethan justfriendshipswithwomen.Thatis,almostallmales.However,even thoughIbelieveanyonewillfindmyideasfreshandfascinating,re- gardlessofsexorsexualorientation,Iwillstillpresumethereaderto belongtotheintendedaudienceandthat"he"understandsthevalue andpurposeofgeneralizations,withoutbecomingobsessedwiththeir obvious limitations and occasional exceptions. Iwouldaskyoutobearwithmeandbecomefamiliarwithmyown definitionsofthewordsmenandmalesaswellaswomenandfemales. Thequickestwaytodescribetheirdifferenceisthatmenandwomen refertoattractivemalesandfemales,butIwilldelvedeeperintothis idea in a later chapter. Allmaleswantwomen.However,notallmaleswilladmitthis,and veryfewactuallyactlikeit.Instead,mostofthemfocusmoreonmak- ing money than on making love. They put more effort into getting a promotionthangettingagirl.Theyspendmoretimewithmalesthan with females and more time talking about women than to women. They do this because they believe they need to, not because they really want to, and they have either no idea or too many bad ideas abouthowtogetgirlsbecausenooneteachesthemhowtoseducewo- men properly. 5/319 Despiteitssignificanceinlifeandtheuniversalexpectationofthe maletotaketheinitiative,courtshipissomethingmalesarelefttodis- coverandlearn allbythemselves, andmostnever do.Parents teach theirsonsallkindsofthings,buttheydonotteachthemhowtofind thewomanoftheirdreamsorwhattodowhentheyseeher.Boyscer- tainlydonotlearnaboutseductioninschooleither,despitespending more than a decade there preparing for supposed real life. All that maleshavearetheirfriends,whoarejustascluelessastheyare,and ideasfrommovies,stories,andads-ideasthatareconceivedbysimil- arlyuneducatedandinexperiencedpeopleandsometimescarriedout with ulterior motives, such as selling a certain product. Thus, most malesneverreallylearnhowtogetthegirlstheywantandjustcome upwithfoolishideastheytryrepeatedlyuntillucklandsintheirfavor orafemalefindsthem.Thisresultsinahilariousmesstowatchfor thoseofuswhoknowhowitallreallyworks,butthemessisnotasen- tertaining if you're in the middle of it. Mostmalesmakeexcusesaboutwhytheyavoidwomenaltogether, or they approach women but always with an excuse. The specific methods and maneuvers can vary endlessly, but they all have two thingsincommon:Theyarebothindirectandineffective,andtheyin- cludepretendingtobumpintowomen,askingtolighttheircigarettes, joining dance classes, asking for directions, dressing outrageously to getattention,askingfriendsforintroductions,formingstrongfriend- shipswithwomenfirst,passingnotesinclass,offeringtobuydrinks, andbuyingacutepuppyhopingitwillrunuptoawomanordrawher attention.Itseemsasifmaleswilltryanythingotherthanwalkingup towomenallbythemselvesandtalkingtothemwithouthidingtheir intentions as if women were highly dangerous or uninterested in men. Tobeindirectandtorelyoncontrivedcircumstancestomeetwo- menisthenorm,sonooneeverstepsbackandconsidersthisprocess 6/319 oritsnecessity,eventhoughitisineffectiveandodd.Thispatternis overlooked because it is so prevalent, like trees in a forest. However, this approach makes very little sense to me. Life is too short.Idonothavetimetotalktotheattractivewoman'sunattractive friendsfirstortolearnhowtodancesalsatomeetmorewomen.IfI seeawomanIfindinteresting,Iwalkstraightuptoherandtellherso, and women absolutely love it! Whilefewmalesbelievetheywillliveforeverandwouldlaughaway theaccusationofholdingsuchabeliefassillynonsense,moststillact otherwise.Withthedecisionstheymakeonadailybasis-andtheway they reason in the heat of the moment and postpone things until tomorrow-weeks,months,years,andevendecadescangobywithout muchchangeintheirsituationwithwomen.Slowlybutsurelytheyare wastingtheirlivesawayonedayatatime.Nomalewantstodothis, butmostbelieveitisnecessaryandinevitable,andthisbeliefgoverns their behavior. The manner in which any male pursues women is based on his mindset, on all the beliefs he has garnered about what womenwantandhowtobestgiveittothem.Whilemostmalesbelieve thatwomenareattractedtothingsthatarenotnaturaltobeginwith, suchasmoney,thisisnotthecase.Thereisobviouslyanaturalwayto attractwomenthatdoesnotrelyonanythingexternal,certainlynoton anythingmanmadelikemoney.Allmalesareactuallybornwiththese instinctsbutlearntorepressthemwhilealsolearningtobelievethat women want things they actually do not want, and that is what this book is all about. To understand males' general behavior, such as why they spend more time pursuing money than women, one has to examine their general beliefs. Our underlying beliefs determine our behavior. Our mindset controls our manners. 7/319 Thetroubleisthatwearenotalwaysawareofourbeliefsorwhere they come from, and if we have believed something for a very long time,wearenotlikelytochallengeit.Thisisdangerous.Blindfaithin anyendeavortendstomakepeoplewastetheirlivesonthingsthatare notnecessaryandtodoallkindsoffoolishthings,andtheendeavorto seduceisnoexception.Ifyouwanttobecomebetterwithwomen,your firstpriorityshouldbetomakesureyouareheadingoffintheright direction instead of following the crowd, especially considering the factthatmostmalesarenotparticularlysuccessfulwithwomen.You havetounderstandwhatmakesmostmalesbelievewomenaretobe pursued indirectly and where these shared beliefs come from. It is surelynotfromexperience,sinceevenunsuccessfulmalesseemtobe- lieve they know what women want. Amalewhowantstogetbetteratseductionmustunderstandwhat womenwant,whattheyarenaturallyattractedto,andhowthatdiffers from what he has been raised to believe. Part I THE MINDSET Nature and Nurture Beforewedelveintothedetailsofseduction,youneedtoadopta newmindset-a newcollectionofbeliefsabouthowtheworldworks- that is both more accurate and more productive than the traditional one you and everyone else hold. Allofthebeliefsyouhaveaboutyourself,aboutwomen,andabout how to best pursue them governs your behavior; thus, your number one priority should be to address this mental foundation. All your thoughtsandactionswillalignintherightdirectionwhenyourmind- setisCorrected.Youwillnolongerfeelthesameneedfordetailedin- structions,althoughPortsIl,III,andIVwilloffermoreandmorespe- cifics,butthosedetailswillnotmakemuchsenseifyoudonotunder- stand the basis of thought that is required. Knowinghowtothinkinsteadofjustknowingwhattodowillalso beimmenselymoreusefulintherealworldwithalltheuncertainties anddifferentscenariosyouwillface.Knowinghowtothinkwillallow you to be more flexible and to solve your own problems. 9/319 Chapter One ATTRACTION When we experience attraction to someone, our brain is letting us knowthatwehavefoundasuitablesexualpartner,someonewhore- sembles all previous partners through the thousands of generations thatcamebeforeus,anindividualwhoisvaluableforourgenes,who has traits that will help us survive and reproduce more successfully than we could on our own. Attractionisoneoftheprimalemotionsthathavehelpedhumanity surviveandreproduce,anditistriggeredinourbodiesinmuchthe samewayasotherprimalemotions,suchashunger,fatigue,andfear. We feel each primal emotion in specific circumstances and we are powerlesstoconvince ourselvesnottofeeltheemotion. Theseemo- tions are instincts that have evolved in our species along with our brainsoveralongperiodoftime(aroundtwomillionyears),growing strongerineverygenerationbecausethosewhofeltthemfortheright reasons and responded to them were more likely to survive. Those whofeareddangerwereobviouslymorelikelytostayalivethanthose whodidnot,andthosewhowereattractedtoapersonwhocouldhelp them survive and reproduce were obviously more likely to pass on their genes. Lifehasbeenmuchlessforgivingforthevastmajorityofthetime ourspecieshasbeenevolvingthanitisnow,andinthedistantpast people simply died if they were unfit. Over time, no one other than those with all survival instincts passed their genes on. 10/319 However,duringthelastseveralthousandyears,sincethedawnof civilization, nature has ceased to eliminate the most unattractive malesandfemalesasourconditionshaveimproved.Today,everyone survivesnomatterhowunfit,andmostpeoplelivelongenoughtore- producethroughsomemeanstopasstheirgeneson-twothingsthey wouldnothavebeenabletodointhepastinamorenaturalenviron- mentwithoutsocialsecurityandhealthcare.Thiswastheharshreal- ityformorethan99.99%ofhumanity'stimeonthisplanet.Yet,the factthatlifeismoreforgivingthesedayshasnoeffectonourinstincts, includingattraction,becauseourbodiesdidnotevolveinthesemod- ernconditions,andtheseconditionshaveonlybeenaroundforatiny minorityofthetimeourspecieshasexisted.Evolutionisaveryslow process. Even thousands of years are nothing for a species that has been evolving for millions. Thatattractionremainsabasicinstincthastwovitalconsequences. First,malesandfemaleshavebecomeattractedtodifferent,comple- mentaryqualitiesineachother.Whatfemalesfindsexyinmalesdif- fers from what males find sexy in females. Second, none of us con- sciouslydecideswhattraitsattractussexuallyorwhoweareattracted to. Attraction is an emotion, not a conscious decision. These two simplefactsarefundamentalinunderstandingseduction,buttheystill eludemanypeopleinthisworld,inparticulartheunattractiveandun- successfulmalesandfemaleswhoformthemajorityofthepopulation. Theyaretheonesyouhearaccusemalesofbeingshallowforcaring aboutfemales'externallooksandtheoneswhoclaimthatfemalesare more sophisticated because they look for inner qualities in males. Theymakethesestatementsasifmalesandfemalesarethesameand couldbecomeattractedtothesamequalitiesifonlywewoulddecide to do so. Itistruethatthesexeshavealotincommon,withperhapseven more similarities than differences overall, but the similarities are